My Relationship To Food, Part 2

I'm guessing my last post was a bit boring. Don't worry, this one should be a bit more relevant and the next one is about a dress, so we're back to the sewing.

Recently new (or new to me) research confirmed what most people know, that dieting may work for a little while but your chances of putting the weight back on and more besides is very high. It turns out that your body seriously resists loosing weight, which makes sense if you live in a hunter gatherer society and not having enough calories to maintain yourself is a very bad thing, but humans weren't designed to live in a world where food was abundant and eating too much was more of a threat than eating too little.

Dieting makes you obsessed with food. Your brain telling you louder and louder that you NEED food and no amount of mental strength can hold up to that onslaught. To make it worse, your body has an idea of what your normal size is, and it's much easier for it to go up then down. Once it's gone up it gets even harder to get healthy.

Currently some scientists believe our best option is to develop better appetite suppression drugs and combat our cultures obesity problem, but that's a long way off for most of us. Until then I need another plan.

My plan? Vegetables. I'm thinking I'll pack the fridge at home with bags of carrots and celery and when I feel just a little bit hungry and I get tempted I'll grab some and munch away to my hearts content. I have absolutely no idea if it'll work but it's worth a try and even if it doesn't it'll be much more fun that eating pizza and hating myself for it.

My Relationship To Food, Part 1

I'll be the first to admit that I have issues with my weight. I was one of the big kids at school, or at least I felt like one. I wasn't huge but I hung around with skinny girls and small girls and that kinda skewed my sample.

I ate for emotional reasons mostly. I didn't know how to ask for attention or connect with people emotionally so I always felt left out and neglected. It wasn't the fault of my parents or friends, I just didn't know how to ask for what I needed.

I thought about dieting, but I had very little control over what I ate. Mum made breakfast, packed lunches and big dinners. We were told 'you won't get your dessert until you've cleared your plate'. School dinners were even worse, because we had to take a certain amount and got in trouble for not taking the amount they thought we needed.

I can't leave food on my plate, but I don't know if that's nature or nurture. When I was young I would fight for what I thought was rightfully mine because I always felt short changed. Give me the option and I will choose more. Give me a buffet and I will eat until I puke. Literally.

When I moved away from home things got a little better. My first flat was in a village with no food shops. Restaurants? By the bucket! Need a bridal shop? Have three! But it was a mile bicycle ride to the supermarket for food I could take home. My dinner was a chicken breast and a serving of rice, cooked with a carton of chopped tomatoes and at least two kinds of frozen veg. Breakfast was a simple bowl of cereal and I barely ever found myself going back for more. It was paradise! I don't know what I weighed but I had a healthy relationship with food.

In my second flat it was harder. The shop around the corner sold biscuits quite cheaply and it was easier to binge than to cook. Plus my bike was falling apart so going to get a weeks shop usually involved walking. Frozen food defrosted and fresh was expensive. I turned back to junk food.

I can't pretend that boredom and loneliness wasn't partly to blame as well. I wasn't seeing family as often or getting out as much and was feeling depressed watching my brother go down hill. The highlight of my week was going to roleplaying games where sweets and fizzy pop were the norm. I deluded myself into thinking I was being healthy if I hardly ate the rest of the week.

When I was loosing weight through the beginning of 2013 I attributed it to slimfast powders and force of will, but I think I was partly wrong there. Sure, it helped, but I think what really got me through was my snacking. You see, I love carrots. I love them, and you could get a 1kg bag of ugly and weirdly shaped carrots at the local supermarket for £1. Whenever I snacked, I started to snack on vegetables and I could eat whenever I was hungry. I think that was the key. If I tried to hold back through willpower then I just got hungrier and hungrier until I went and bought a bag of cookies with that same one pound.

As the year continued, however, I got depressed again. I stopped leaving the house and the boyfriend moved in. He couldn't live on salad. We agreed to try and get healthy together, him being quite overweight, but every time he went and spent £20 he didn't have on junk food or bought a footlong subway I gave up a little. It was like he was saying he didn't care as much as me. I don't take it personally now, I see it for what it was, but when he complained about the healthy food I made it hurt.

I want to get my love of healthy, yummy food back, but moving into my parents house means I'm going to have to think long and hard about how I'm going to move forward. I'll talk more about that in part 2.

Yay! T-shirts!

I got an overlocker (serger) a couple of days ago and I've been having fun with it, making my first stretch garments. I don't have any ball point needles so I'm going to wait to sew anything with good fabric, and I can't sew any seams on my sewing machine because I need to fix the bobbin tension before I can use the zigzag stitch, but both those things can be easily fixed.

Sorry you can see my bra! I didn't realise how see-trough the fabric was, but at least I found out here and not out in the real world. Also, did you notice my new haircut? I got my boyfriend to cut my hair and when he got it wonky (I shouldn't be surprised) I got the hairdresser to just go with it.

I made both the t-shirts in NewLook 6216, but the sizing got me really confused. According to the size graph I should have sewn a 14/16 but when I looked at garment measurements I got confused. It looked like I could wear an 8 with room to spare.

Turns out cutting the short sleeved one in an 8 was just fine, which is a bit annoying. But even more annoying was the long sleeved version, where the body was just fine but the sleeves where tight. I guess that's where the inflated sizing came from but it just looks horrible, and I think it would have whatever size I cut. I would edit the top to add size 16 sleeves to the size 8 top but it's such a wasteful pattern in terms of fabric I don't think I'll bother.


I will sew up the short sleeved top, probably again and again, and I'm going to try the trousers at least once, but I'll get a sleeved top from somewhere else.

Ten Questions To Ask When Sewing For Other People

Many sewers and bloggers will tell you that sewing for other people is a slippery slope. You start sewing on a button and then the next thing you know you never have time to sew anything for yourself.

I'm not such a believer in that. Yes, if you say okay to every request for clothing from people who don't understand how much work you'll either end up putting it off, hating them for stealing all your sewing time, or garroting someone with a yard of printed ribbon, but you just have to set your boundaries before you begin.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Can they do it themselves? If someone who has the skills to sew something but asks you for help they may have a good reason. If they need to get a petticoat sewn but they're making the wedding dress to go over it and darn, where did all the time go? then that's more understandable than if they just got DVDs for the new series of [insert program you don't watch here] and they just have to watch it RIGHT NOW!

2. Could they and would they learn? If it's something really simple, could they just learn how to do it themselves? If they come to you every time they loose a button then it'll probably be a lot quicker to teach them how but if it's something like complicated embroidery that you enjoy doing it might take longer to teach them the skills they need to get it right than to just do it. 

3. How much do you really like this person? Are they your brother's colleague's cousin once removed or are they your favorite child? There's a reason they call it a labor of love, and it's not because you just adore patching holes in trousers.

4. How long will it take? It makes sense that you need to be very invested in someone to make them a huge beaded ball gown but you might be happy to sew a button on for a friend every now and again. Either way, it's a good idea to make them aware of how long it'll take before you start. If you're going to spend an hour sewing buttons on then make sure they know it's not a ten minute job.

5. How much difference will it make to them? Will this have a big enough impact on their mood or standard of living to make it worth the effort? Fixing a cherished childhood toy will be remembered a lot longer than fixing the zip on a cheap, rarely warn dress. If someone is depressed or having a terrible day or week or even month then one act of kindness can mean a whole lot more than what you put into it.

6. Is it important to you to have a say in how they dress/present themselves? If you want to sew for someone so you can change their style then you're probably heading for disappointment, but if you just want them to stop looking homeless then it might be worth a try. I'd quite happily put the hours in making my boyfriend new trousers if it meant the general public wasn't exposed to his boxers every time we went out.

7. Will you enjoy the project? Is it something that you'd do just for the fun and the experience or will it be a hard slog with very few rewards? If you'd be happy to sew something just for the practice and the artistry that goes into it, like an embroidery sampler, then why not make it to fit someone who'll love it?

8. Is it something you need to practice? You can always use sewing for others as practice for something you want to get better at. If you always wear stretch fabric skirts but you want to add fly zippers to your skill set then make something for someone who'll actually use it.

9. Are they easy to work with? Simply put, if you're going to spend most of the project wanting to strangle them for changing their mind or never being happy with the results then it's probably safer for everyone if you stop before you begin.

10. Are they willing to do or give something in exchange and will it be worth it? This goes back to making sure they know how long it will take. Are they happy to do something that requires a similar commitment of time and energy for you (after taking into account your answers to the last nine questions) or pay enough to make it worth it? If you make a complicated evening jacket in exchange for a hug or a fiver and the cost of the materials you're probably going to feel ripped off.

The reason I'm talking about this is because I spent about an hour this morning making a pair of my boyfriends shorts wearable for the day ahead. The button had been pulled off, ripping the fabric when it went, and in the heat of mid-July a pair of shorts are almost a necessity.

If I hadn't had a huge button purchase to feel less guilty about then it probably wouldn't have gotten done, but I'm also in the process of building up good karma at the moment anyway. I've mentioned before that my boyfriend is good with video editing and the like, and I have ideas for making and including videos and graphics in my blog and I'm going to need his help.

If you want to know how I fixed the rip, just have a look at the picture below!

Is There Such A Thing As Crafters Block?

I can't help but wonder if crafters get their own equivalent of writer block. Dread when you look down at a blank piece of felt or just a terrible frustration at the fact that nothing turns out how it looked in your head. Maybe you've felt this before?

I don't have crafters block, I just have a stupid amount of work to do and nowhere to cut my fabric. The person who I think has contracted this terrible affliction is my boyfriend. He's given me permission to talk about the problem here.

The first time I met my boyfriend we talked about our crafty habits and dreams. He was a Concept Design and Special Effects student at the local uni and enjoyed editing videos, drawing, making sculptures and lodes of other fun things. We commiserated about his course not going that well and a lack of support from tutors and I told him about my dress making.

Since he finally dropped out of uni though he hasn't had any creative energy, or much excitement for anything really. When he draws he scribbles over them or rips them up afterwards and hasn't completed a piece of digital art in months, which isn't helped by his rather unsuccessful attempts at getting commissions.

When he's in a mood it saps my urge to draw or sew or create, especially when he's in such a funk he just curls up in bed for hours. When he has to go to his job in an off-licence and I'm staying at home to sew he'll make snide comments, and I know it's because his job is soul destroying but mine isn't much better.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea. He's a lovely guy when he's not in a funk and it doesn't happen all the time, but I know he's not happy and when he's not happy I'm sadder.

I even went to the extent of drawing to try and remind him how much fun it is (plus it quelled my guilt about buying expensive pens then not using them). He just told me he couldn't draw a feather that good (nonsense).

What do you guys think? Have you ever dealt with someone else loosing their energy? I'm tempted to talk him into going to the doctor to talk about depression. I'm just worried, that's all.

Burlesque

I finished sewing my back facing onto my top yesterday but that's boring. I want to talk about what I did in the evening.

I spent Saturday evening watching 'An Evening of Burlesque' with my boyfriend and we had so much fun I came home afterwards and browsed the theaters website to plan another outing.

I'm pretty sure I've talked about my love of burlesque before but it bares repeating. I just love the whole aesthetic, the femininity and even the craft of it. It's even something I could seriously see myself having a go at.

(source)

Plus, the costumes drive me crazy. If I lived in a world where I could wear whatever I wanted and a country where is was warmer I'd be decked out in feathers every day.

(source)

If nothing else you have to appreciate the body confidence that it takes to stand up in front of a (hopefully) crowded theater with only pasties and a pair of knickers protecting your modesty.

(source)

Maybe when I get more practice with beading and sequins I'll douse myself in glitter for my own entertainment but for now it will have to stay a fabulous dream. At least till after I've finished my gingham dress, that is.

A Little Bit Of Fixing

Yesterday I put eight of the ten buttons on my black top and I'm feeling really good about my choice. It looks really pretty. Not a lot of work to go through to add a wearable item to my wardrobe.

Also, I was wrong about the size of Chris' display. It's actually 5 feet. To really put this in perspective, I'm five foot three.

Another Lazy Day, Kind Of

I've been awake for 40 hours.

I didn't get any sewing done yesterday. I did even more sodding laundry (it's finally all gone now) and then had to go into town to sort things out with the bank for the second day running. By the time I got home my legs and feet burned.

I was supposed to go to a midnight release for a video game with my boyfriend but my legs had gone all wobbly and the poor thing had to go by himself. He bought a four foot tall advertising display for the game.

All I did that was even remotely close to sewing was try on some clothes in town and buy cheap notions. Abakhan had strips of elastic long enough for waistbands (30p each) and bags of buttons for a pound so I splurged a bit. Not buying any new fabric seems to be backfiring a bit.

A Busy Day But Not Much Sewing

Yesterday got off to a bad start when I slept in till noon. Chris stayed up to watch the live feed of the E3 announcements because he's a bit of a video game addict and it went on till 6am where we are so neither of us got much sleep.

I spent most of the day doing laundry and filling a huge bag with clothes I'm getting rid of. I think I've culled half my wardrobe since Chris moved in but it really needed doing. I've got some other items that need either working back into everyday wear or throwing out but I'm giving them a second chance. I'll be showing them to you over the next month or so.

I've finally got to the bottom of the pile of laundry that Chris brought with him when he moved but mine's built up in the mean time and now I have to do that and make sure anything from there that needs to go to the charity shop does. Sigh.

Going through my clothes put us in a silly mood so we messed around with Chris's top hat and cosplay wig. The hat is so big on me that it falls down over my eyes and I'm convinced the wig needs thinning out but it was fun. (I know I look ridiculous.)

That evening I cut the back of my gingham dress and pinned the front down while he sketched. It feels like I'm getting close to the finish line now. I've put up his sketch for posterity because he had a hissy fit and ripped it up shorty after the photo was taken. They've been messing him about a bit at work so he has his ups and downs.

Sleeves And My Charity Shop Adventures

Yesterday I finally cut my fabric for the gingham dress, and it's not even gingham! I cut out the white collar and sleeves but ironing the cloth is still a nightmare because my ironing board is still broken and I'm using an ironing board cover on top of foam on the floor.

Last week I started volunteering at the British Red Cross every Monday, and today was my second day. I officially filled in the paper work and I'm getting a name badge and everything!

The people I work with are great and I'm learning a lot. The thing I think my fellow thrifters will be most interested by is the fact that volunteers don't get first dibs on donations. At least in the red cross shops items have to be on the store floor 24 hours before we can buy them. It seems so cruel when you've been watching something since it came down and someone picks it up that same day but it's all for a good cause.

Personally, I've found that an awesome way to find interesting items is to wait till you're culling the stock (taking down items that have been there for too long and probably won't get bought). You end up looking at every garment leaving and noticing the pretty ones that might be your size then trying them on during slow periods (there always has to be 2 people on the shop floor to stop thieves).

I bought a Batman bed sheet from the shop I work in because I have a thing about Batman and I find if I'm meeting people off forums and need to identify myself a theme comes in handy. I'm planning to make it into a top or a simple dress.

You might have noticed my other picture as well. That's right, I got a treadle! When me and Chris were coming home from registering with the doctor I noticed a shop full of sewing machines. These weren't little home sewing machines, this was an entire building of old machines from factories and a sign offering fixes and tune ups. I went in and gorped for a while then Chris said his mum might have an old metal sewing machine. She brought it over when he moved in and it was a treadle! It's not quite in working condition, the belt is dry and crumbling, but it makes a nice ongoing project.

A Slightly Unproductive Day

I got a huge total of nothing done yesterday, unless you include buying supplies. I got buttons for Style 2289 even though I'm just going to sew them on the front placard and put poppers on to close the actual dress.

I was hoping for white elastic but they didn't have it in the right size. I'm pretty sure it won't be visible and even if it is it won't look that bad.

I did discover one thing. My boyfriend is a genius when it comes to planning projects. He may be afraid of the sewing machine but I'm definitely bringing him in on the next dress!

Quick Update

I didn't update here yesterday and came very close to not updating today because my relationship needed a little TLC. Chris was in a bit of a funk because I wasn't giving him what he needed but once he was able to tell me it got better. We're both learning here.

In sewing news, I just got a bit of outlining and cutting out done yesterday while I watched Rosemary's Baby.

First Steps Of Stash Busting

 It was the first day of the Stash Busting Challenge yesterday and I got off to an okay start. I didn't cut any fabric but since I'm a tracer instead of a cutter when it comes to patterns, even ones I bought new instead of vintage ones, new patterns take a bit longer to get started.

I spent yesterday copying the Cravat Dress from Silver Needles. I've never heard of this pattern company before so I'm looking forward to it and it looks like a dress I'll make a couple of times in this challenge and then again afterwards. If I start trying to sew with silk then this might be the one I start with.

One thing that did make me pause. I was copying out this pattern and got to the bottom, about 10cm from the edge of the tracing paper, when I noticed the little line of writing at the bottom. That's right, it says extend 48.5cm.

I'm used to that kind of thing from pattern cutting but I've never seen it in a printed sewing pattern before. It kind of makes sense.

I traced the other main piece along the long side of the paper instead of the short one and was left with about 40 cm of room to extend my dress. I made it 35 cm because I'm short and not exactly the most modest of people. The other one I just extended with another strip of paper.

I went over the lines with a black pen so I could see them better and cut out everything so when I get to cutting fabric it's all ready.

I'm posting this a little late today because I went to a car boot sale then a coffee shop with my boyfriend this morning. I hate to say it in a place this public but I'm scared if I don't I won't say it at all, I sometimes think we have a different understanding of goals. I've talked about my weight loss before and I've got about a stone to go but every time I talk to my boyfriend about it he talks about the 6 stone (84 lbs) he needs to loose and maybe we should do it together. That sounds great until you take into account our differing motivations. I'm quite happy to subsist on salad and determination if it works and I really want this, but ten minutes after bemoaning his ballooning waistline my boyfriend suggests making a cake 'just because'.

Don't get me wrong, I want my boyfriend to succeed and have shared goals but if he just ends up dragging me back then I'm not going to be too happy. It's the same with blogging. My boyfriend has a letsplay profile on Youtube that he hasn't updated for a month and keeps talking about but when I say 'I should probably update my blog for today' he tells me it's not that urgent. I'm starting to get fed up with it because I'm a rather lazy person and sometimes I need a cheerleader. I'm happy to be a cheerleader for him because he needs it, but I need the same in return.

Maybe I'm putting too much on his shoulders. Maybe I'm trying to stick to an agreement that hasn't even been made. Maybe I should look inside me for a cheerleader and stop looking to other people. What do you guys think? Do you find being in a group helps you or holds you back? Does it depend on the group?

Ebay Addiction

I've been on a little eBay binge lately. I've bought a few patterns, partly because with all the stuff going on with my boyfriend moving in I haven't been able to sew very much. He's finally living with me but he's brought four or five loads of laundry with him and I'm in charge of washing clothes (he gets the dishes) so I've got that on top of everything else. The house is a mess and there are trash bags and boxes of stuff all over the kitchen and the living room.

These are the patterns that have arrived so far:

I'm going to be pulling out some of them for the stash busting but I'm starting with the two bellow. They're both the right size (one multisize and ones just a 92cm bust) so I'm going to copy the pieces off today and try to get at least some pieces cut out. I'm doing them both in blue gingham that I bought at the Birmingham Rag Market. It's maybe not the fabric I'd choose if I was planning this from the start but that's the point. I have it so I'll use it.

Where Have I Been?

I've had a busy week and I haven't been sewing, but you've probably realized that. It's driving me crazy but I'm finally close to being ready for my boyfriend to move in on the 31st.

I'm a little bit crazy. I have high functioning autism and I sometimes have trouble spending too much time with people for too long. I should have expected it to happen earlier but on Thursday I had a mild breakdown from not getting enough time on my own to recharge.

It's not that big of a deal, really. As long as I can arrange my alone time I'll be fine. Me and Chris are talking about it and once the craft room is sorted out I can in there if I need time.

When you have two people in the house it's a lot easier to care about food, as well. Cooking for one is a lot more tedious than cooking for two and it finally seems worth the effort. It helps that Chris actually enjoys tidying and cleaning. (Or he says so anyway. I'm still a little dubious)

I've also gotten some new glasses. A popular glasses retailer in England offers two for one so I got two quite different pares to match with different outfits. Ones stylish black wire and the other's a layer of pink plastic sandwiched between black. I tried to get my boyfriend to take a photo of me in each of them but he spent fifteen minutes fiddling with the camera but it was too dark anyway.

Why I Haven't Been Sewing

I haven't been sewing for what feels like ages.

I've spent the last few days trying to catalog my fabric stash and the pile is now taller than I am. The rim of top box is at the level of my chin and I've still got a load of stuff to add. If it doesn't reach the ceiling I'll be surprised.

I have a problem when it comes to buying fabric. I buy without a clear plan in mind and sometimes get overcome by the idea that if some is good then more must obviously be better. I'm a hoarder at heart and struggle with letting things go.

I've decided to clean up because I might be getting a room mate soon in the form of my boyfriend. He'll be out on his ear at the end of the school year and it seemed like a workable solution. I'll just have to train him to put DVDs back in the right cases and we'll be set.

Normal crafting should resume soon. The spare room is becoming a workroom instead of a junk room so we can both use it and I'm planning to have a work space set up by June.

Sleeve Failure

I had a go at drafting a sleeve since I last posted and it went quite well, up to a point. It's mostly just a bit of maths. Nothing you can't do with a simple calculator or just pen and paper.

(source)

It was going fine, but I've already mentioned that my block isn't quite the same proportions as the one in the book. I should have guessed that the width of the sleeve would be different. My sleeve block was wide compared to my bodice block so I didn't leave enough room and my lines fell of the edge.

On the bright side, I'm starting to see that all blocks look different, even if they come from the same basic instructions. As long as it fits when I put it on it'll all work out okay. I don't know if it actually will, but I'll find out soon enough.

I went out with my boyfriend today for all you can eat sushi today and he's come home with me to spend the night so tomorrow morning I'm probably going to take his measurements if he'll let me. He's a bit delicate about his weight, but we're planning to diet and go to the gym together so fingers crossed we can loose weight together.